Taylor Swift, being a Swiftie and Celebrity Worship
This was a Facebook post back in June. Since there is no algorithm here and I feel its important, I’m adding it here for safekeeping.
Anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows I’ve been a huge Swiftie for years. I’m not ashamed nor embarrassed by that as its brought a lot of joy and happiness to my life at a time when I needed it the most. Recently, my musical interests have branched out into a lot of modern rock and heavy metal which is kind of at my musical roots, but exploring newer bands. That is all besides the point.
I also live in San Antiono since 2010 and have been a Spurs fan since I moved here. I grew up in Indiana and never really paid attention to basketball until I moved here and saw how much the city pulls together to support the Spurs and I wanted to be a part of it. I saw their 2013 collapse against Miami in the Finals, only to come back in 2014 and beat Miami in the finals for their fifth championship.
But I want to talk about some weird feelings I had among many watching the Spurs’ massive collapse the other night against the Knicks. In the audience was Taylor Swift at courtside sporting Knicks colors, and cheering them on with other celebrities. Seeing her so gleefully root against my team felt oddly personal. I know none of that is the case, she has no idea I exist and hasn’t been to San Antonio that I know of since her Speak Now tour many years ago.
Anyway, to cut this a bit short, the Spurs blew a 30 point lead and went down 3-1 in the series. Its devastating. I had a lot of feelings about that as a lifetime Cubs fan as well. Back to Taylor, I’m not going to nitpick her every courtside movement as many have done nor am I going to hate on her.
However, it made me re-think my views and relationships to celebrities Over the years, there are many times publicly our favorite stars will be having feuds with other celebs. Only to see them being buddy buddy later at some event. Maybe there is nothing to read into that, but something is starting to register with me that others have tried to tell me over the years. Celebrities are different. Celebrity culture and lifestyles are different, .They aren’t like us. No matter how laid back and grounded they may be, they will never be like us or understand what its like to not be able to afford healthcare, or wonder if they will be homeless next week or where their next meal is coming from.
Mind you I’m talking about the top A-list celebs. Not working actors and not former child stars who haven’t worked in 30 years. It also seems like on some level these folks are all pals no matter how they present publicly, despite people having opposite political views as them or even being MAGA or not. The fact is, being friends with someone who is MAGA or MAGA itself will not harm them or effect them in any way as their fame and wealth shields them from the worst most fascist policies.
It’s easy to sit in a multi-million dollar estate and say “Can’t we all just get along? Let’s not divide people over politics.” While women’s health care is being stripped way, or migrants are being brutalized and their families decimated. Many of them flat out say they aren’t on social media so a lot may not even have any idea or care of what is actually happening. (I’m speaking generally here, not specific to Taylor.)
I spent years lifting her up on a pedestal, but the fact is she is just as human as the rest of us. Yes, she seems super human in many ways, but she does have her faults and imperfections as we all do. God knows I have a fuck load of faults. I don’t hate anyone for that. I am more annoyed with myself for elevating a person who I will never meet to such a level. I thought she was different, and she is different than most celebrities, but she is still a celebrity. I’m not renouncing being a swiftie, I’m mostly thinking as I type here because that is what I do. I don’t know for sure what to do with this new insight.
My neurodivergent brain has a tendency to want to latch on to people like this, be it Taylor or an athlete or another singer I like a lot or something and seek some kind of validation from that fandom or maybe the celebrity themselves or try to at least. Even in the form of collecting merch hoping it will some how gain me karma points in that area. It all sounds really silly as I’m a middle aged adult man, but my brain doesn’t work like a lot of people’s brains. I’m weird by default.
So going forward, I hope to reevaluate and change my relationships to celebrities and celeb worship. I’m not sure yet what that looks like. No, I won’t be a hater and post hot takes and think pieces on what Taylor Swift had for breakfast and why it means the downfall of society. I think she is a good person and is one of the greatest talents of our generation. But that doesn’t mean the world is devoid of other good people or other great talents. I can enjoy lots of other things and art and music and its not a dig on Taylor. Part of my brain tends to fixate on one thing at a time and just listen to, watch or do that one thing all the time to the exclusion of everything else.
Sometimes this lasts a few weeks, sometimes years, sometimes indefinitely. So I don’t know what this means here. I’m sure some folks will take offense to this post because they didn’t read it or they plan to read it in the worst faith possible and jump in the comments guns blazing. That’s fine, I’m open to the discussion. I just didn’t expect a basketball game to send me spiraling in this way but it was a perfect storm of a lot of things that rattled something loose in my brain and I’m trying to sort it out.
My goal is to enjoy the bands I like, I’m going to see the Pretty Reckless in concert in July with another Taylor, Taylor Momsen will be performing. I think she is pretty great and incredibly talented, but I’m trying to temper my enthusiasm to that of casual fan and not fanatical or obsessive. It’s either the bipolar or autism or combination of both that makes me lock onto things like this, and while I always fixate on small things like celebrities or whatever, I probably should focus more on my art and getting my art seen over supporting someone else’s art who is doing ten thousand times better than myself or any other artists out there still struggling. I hope this rambling all makes sense. I wrote this in the middle of the night before going to bed, so we’ll see if this makes any less sense after its been posted for awhile. Feel free to leave your thoughts and don’t yell at me too much. I’m doing my best.
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