Fear of Failure Poster

I've had several business ventures at different points in my life. One brick and mortar store and several online businesses. One crashed hard because of the economy crashing and I lost everything and spent a few years in deep depression.

Another I screwed up myself thanks to mental illness and blew up everything in epic fashion. Some just fizzled out and I had to find ways to move on. Every time I said I was done doing this and would just work a regular job and then months later end up tackling a new challenge.

I started out art solely as therapy. I had no intention of selling it, but I guess with my need for validation and excitement to show everyone I made the move last year into pushing for an art business, hopefully full time. I will say this has been the hardest business venture to get started. . The others were hard but took off at first in a rather short amount of time, only to blow up later. I'm feeling like this being a slow burn will ultimately be the thing that finds me the most success.

For one, it's the one thing that is fully and 100% all me and my pure self. Other businesses I was selling some form or product and even with writing books, at lot was writing what sold and not what I wanted to tell. With my art I don't let market trends or strategies drive me. I write what my mind and spirit see and bring it to life.

I ask myself why I put myself through this and I don't have an answer other than I hate working for other people and have to do something that matters. Art matters and art is healing. This painting is my interpretation of the internal feelings i feel asl I go through trying to succeed with the traumas of past failures, and fear of flaming out again hovers over my shoulder like a dark cloud. Yet I push forward and realize that doing the hard things will ultimately make good things happen.