Self-Diagnosing Autism: Exploring the Overlap with Bipolar Disorder

Since I started this blog, I've gotten a lot of really great feedback on it. It seems to resonate with a lot of people and people are connecting with it which is great and what I was hoping for. I also get a lot of questions about my journey which I'm completely fine with. One was if I'd ever been tested for autism, which I hadn't. I know Bipolar has a lot of overlapping traits with autism. I did some digging and came up with a few things.

Why I'm Considering Self Diagnosis

I talked to my therapist today and we had a long discussion about it. He told me he always thought I had autistic traits, but certain things stood out as bipolar. I could have some of both. In simple terms, the treatment and meds I'm on are working, so a diagnosis wouldn't really change anything. At least not on the treatment end.

However, I'd have to see either a neurologist or psychologist for testing, and with our deductible it would be quite expensive and time consuming. To me it doesn't seem worth it just to satisfy my own curiosity.

I took a really basic online assessment which said I was 50% likely on the spectrum. A few friends on the spectrum said they can send me some info on more detailed online assessments. Some of them self diagnosed also. So This is a route I'm exploring.

The Overlap with Bipolar and Autism

This is different for everyone as both conditions are different for everyone, so the overlap can look different, so I'll talk about my own issues. I have sensory issues, I can't stand too much noise or conversations going on at the same time. If the TV is on and people are talking, I have to turn the sound off.

In some crowded public places, I'll wear headphones, like in an airport. I also sleep with headphones on and music playing when I sleep at night to drown out outside noise.

I tend to fixate on things. I pick up an interest or hobby, I zero in on that one thing and focus only on that for months, even years until I'm really good at it, then often my interest will shift to something else or pivot entirely. When I was a kid my parents would say "Oh, he's on some new kick again." and I eventually stopped talking about things I was interested in because I didn't want to hear about being on "some kick."

Because of this overlap, the two things often get misdiagnosed as one or the other. I know several people who were diagnosed with bipolar earlier on then later on the autism spectrum. I was diagnosed with bipolar much later in life, so finding it if it was wrong or I have both may not be a huge change in things. Except it would explain a LOT of things.

The Validity of Self-Diagnosis

There is a lot of stigma around this, and as usual people often think its just for attention or because they saw it on Tik Tok. Most I know who self diagnose did so after a series of self and online assessments and some actual research. Fact is, an actual assessment can cost from $1000 to $5000 out of pocket. This is just not accessible to most people.

Then you consider how hard it is to even find a provider to do an assessment, then whatever waiting period there is because there is a general shortage of mental health providers. My therapist told me that I know my mind and body better than anyone, so if I took some assessments myself and figure I'm autistic, then I'm autistic. And I agree with that statement. Self diagnosis is valid, since no one knows our own traits better than we do, and formal tests and assessment aren't always accessible. Don't make me start on how in the U.S. the brain is treated completely differently than the body when it comes to health care. That's a whole book, let alone a blog.

So, when someone has done the work, and I always assume they have and tell me they are on the spectrum, I believe them. And you should too. Until there is some major overhaul with the healthcare system, this is what we have and we all can just do the best we can do to understand ourselves.

What This Means for My Mental Health Journey

I'm not sure to be honest. I think it will change some in how I approach things, and as I said, it will explain a lot of things. When I was a kid I'd often keep to myself and have imaginary friends and play alone. I preferred to play in my room for hours than with other kids. People often thought I was weird because they'd see me playing and thought I was talking to myself.

Then there are the things in adulthood, like social inappropriateness, poor boundaries, self sabotage, and on and on. None of those things are fun and all of them would leave me asking "What is wrong with me?" So at least now I'd know and would be aware and could work from a place of knowledge. Knowledge is power.

Whether or not to be tested is a personal decision we need to make for ourselves. Initially I just kind of figured I'd let it go after talking to my therapist, but after talking to some online friends, I'm going to try the self diagnosis. I may need to do a few assessments and average them out and I'm fine with that. But if you have any doubts and don't have a therapist, self-diagnosis is valid and a solid way to go.

A lot of it is just labels, and to some people the label doesn't matter, and at first that is how I looked at it. but after thinking it through, I think it would be good to know what I'm working with in my head so I can let people close to me know and move forward accordingly. Like I said earlier, part of just having some answers about myself and my past would be helpful as well. One of the worst feelings growing up is acting out bizarre behaviors, knowing its bizarre at the time, but having no idea why you are doing it. Its like you are sitting outside of your body watching you do crazy things, and its very troubling and unsettling.

Once I find the proper assessments and complete them I'll post the links in a future blog. At some point I'll likely make a resources page on the main menu. In the end, I'm glad I have some answers now and currently on a healthy path to mental wellness and looking forward to learning more about myself and taking the next steps on this journey.