Sanctuary of Shadows
I had a whole thing in mind for what I wanted to blog about today, until I sat down to actually write it, then it all just kind of slipped out of my head. But I still have thoughts as random as they may be.
Today is Ash Wednesday and while I'm not Catholic, I still kind of follow their things as I'm in a pretty heavily Catholic area. Plus because of today one of my favorite bands, Ghost releaed a new album and new look for their next Papa.
I saw them in concert back in 2018 and even got to do the meet and greet. At the time he was Cardinal Copia and he was very nice and kind. People think its odd I'm such a happy, positive person but I like Taylor Swift and Ghost. Strange contrast, but I'm a complex person with varying tastes and layers.
Exploring the darker side of creativity
The lead singer and founder of Ghost is a guy named Tobias Forge, if you've seen interviews with him, he's quite funny and dorky. You'd never guess he dressed up like a Satanic priest and leads a band of Nameless Ghouls. I relate to this a lot. Not the satanic priest part, but the darker side. How people like me always tend to lean into darker things. I think for me some of it is comfort, and maybe a little taboo. Growing up, anything not from the Bible was pretty much evil or Satanic, yet I found things like horror and scary books fascinating.
I was reading Stephen King and Clive Barker when I was 12 or 13. Now, I don't watch as much horror at least not the super dark crazy stuff. I like gothic horror and lighter type things. I love the show Supernatural. I just can't into really hardcore stuff the way I used to. I think part of it is change in my own mindset and a shift in how the world is and how I view things.
Oddly M3gan is one of my favorite horror movies, its a little bloody and silly and just a lot of fun for me to watch. Its become a comfort movie.
I sometimes do create cute, fun things but 90% of my art has a darker tone or vibe to it. It's just how I've always been wired. Though instead of going for gory things, I go for the bizarre and creepy.
I think because of my religious upbringing, I like religious and apocalyptic imagery. Just a quirk I have I suppose, but there are so many things you can do with it.
Vulnerability and Self-Doubt
Every artist and creator of any medium is filled with these things. I'm often thinking my blogs, my art, or ME is not good enough. I see the amazing things others are creating and doing and I question if I'm even going to come close.
Lately in the AI community, AI video is a big thing, lots of people are doing it and video generators are gaining in leaps and bounds. I've played with them some but stick to still images for now. I've debated if I should focus more or do more video content, but I figure with a written blog, a video included would be too distracting.
I personally when looking at content prefer to read articles and look at pictures. I very rarely have time to look at videos or am in a place I can watch with the volume on without distracting other people. Maybe I'm just old, but I feel this medium of blogs with photos has a lot of life left in in yet.
Inspiration and the Subconscious
This is one of the shadowy places where ideas are born. All my life I have had weird and wild dreams, sometimes very graphic and violent, sometimes just bizarre and surreal. These things constantly feed my creative process.
I also meditate as part of my Buddhist and previously pagan practice. When I go into a meditative trance, strang images and visions and what not flood my mind. I don't know where it comes from or why its there, but once again, it just drives my creative process to make up things I would never think of just sitting around trying to come up with it. I've told my wife some of my dreams and it usually ends up in strange looks of concern.
I think ultimately playing with dark art and themes is what keeps me mentally healthy. All the anger, and sadness and frustration I may take in in a given day or week, it all comes out in my art and creations. If I didn't have an outlet at all, I think that would be reason for concern. Especially with the weird dreams. I often want to tell someone but afraid to discuss it because of how wild some of them are. So I just channel them into art or AI art. The AI art gives me more leeway to expand what I create and can make it a more visual image than my hand drawn art.
Embracing Uncertainty
Ultimately we live in times there is a lot of uncertainty. From day to day watching the news or reading social media, we have no idea what fresh horrors are going to happen next. Darkness and art is the sanctuary to escape from the darkness of real life. In my sancuatary, I have control over things, over what is dark what is included and what I put on the screen.
Real life is scary and overrated. I know it can't be ignored and I follow things as much as I need to in order to keep informed, but its not nearly as big a part of my life as it used to be. I've just had to tune out and focus on things I do have control over. My family and my creativity. No matter what happens, no one can take that away. So, don't be afraid to explore your darker side. Its not as scary as it looks and some of the most beautiful things come from within the darker part of our souls.
