Personal Revelations

Sometimes dealing with being an adult with mental illness and autism you go day to day and just try to get by. Sometimes you feel so productive you are knocking shit out of the park left and right. Then other days, you realize things about yourself you had no idea were possible.

I keep it no secret I'm old and out of shape. I need to exercise more, especially walking and cardio. That said, in our back room is a laundry room. Our washer broke down some time ago and we currently use it as a storage room. Problem is its become over run with crap and boxes. Today I went to move as much out as I could and put things in our garage or some where safer for storage. Once I made a big enough path, I had to work the washer which still had water in the bottom of it, out of the room and get it to the back yard to the curb for bulky item pickup.

Now, this was no easy task, at least not for me. I did it all by myself. It required a lot of jockeying the washer around and some brute forth and some brute strength I didn't know I still had at age 51. I used to be able to muscle about anything or lift about anything. Past few years that wasn't always the case and I didn't think today would be any different, but I was determined to get that old thing out of there.

Mind you once I got it done, I was breathing so hard I could barely see straight and I was sore from head to toe. I lie down for a while and ate a good dinner plus a protein bar later to refill my strength. I feel much better now, oddly I feared I'd be so sore I couldn't move by the end of the day.

So, what is the point of this story? Well, I guess there is a message in here about believing in yourself or pushing yourself. I know this isn't one of my fun or sexier blog posts. I was kind of at a loss about what to talk about today but I learned a lot of people like when I just talk about my life and daily routine and don't always have a detailed article to put out.

Fact is, I wasn't sure I could do it, but my wife wanted it done and I wanted it done, and I wanted to impress her. We've been married 13 years and I still try to impress her because she impresses me every day. So I got it done and did it without hurting myself. Mind you it wasn't pretty and I definitely don't have a future as a mover ahead of me. I'm not sure how movers survive carrying heavy stuff all over all day. I almost died just watching the movers years ago when we moved here.

I did a blog recently about personal wins, I don't want to rehash that whole thing. But it just made me think of times when I was younger. When I was in the Marines in my 20s there were times I was on a long hike with a 60 pound pack or on a five mile run, I had to really dig down and push myself to levels I never knew I had in me. I thought those days were long behind me and I'd never accomplish much of anything physical or anything in general ever again.

So, I suprised myself today which made me think of my goals with this blog. Some days I hardly get any traction and views and I wonder if this whole project is worth it. Then today I accomplish something like I did with the washer which gives me a personal revelation. I can do it, and it is possible. If I dig down and forge ahead.

The above photos is kind of how I felt today. And how I'll feel when I start getting more subscribers here. I know its probably not professional to talk about my goals and things, but this is a personal blog as well and this is some personal stuff I'm spilling. I always promised here I'd keep it real and raw and sometimes that is just me rambling about whats on my mind.

I know it may be silly to be so happy with myself over something so trivial, but this was a big accomplishment for me. I could sit down and write out 3-4 legal documents in a day and a couple of blogs and crank out dozens of images of AI art all in a day, but anything physical tends to kick my ass ten ways from sideways.

So am I going to get back into shape? I have a nice pair of hiking boots I just got, I want to start walking and hiking trails this spring and summer. That is my goal. I want to be able to do events and not be so winded after 20 minutes or feel like I'm going to pass out after walking around for a short time.

I want to see nature things and animals and birds in the wild. This is a city, but there are dozens of beautiful parks with trails, I want to be able to do those things and not have the rest of my day cancelled because I'm so tired. I've been just surviving for so long I want to start living. Also, by my age health and weight are factors. I've lost 50 pounds on Wegovy, but I need to add a good exercise routine in. Also I've been exercising my mind a lot, I need to get my body back into good health so I can live longer. And with autism and bipolar, I have no doubt that getting more walking in will help my moods and anxiety. I talk a lot about all around wellness, it would be good for me to practice it as well.

I know this was kind of a collection of randomness but I thank you all for sticking with me. I hope my experiences are helpful for someone else. Tomorrow I have a pretty full day ahead, so we'll see when or if I can check in. In the meantime, be safe every one and take good care of yourselves.